For a long time, I was in love with loneliness. We always had long conversations. In the beginning, she gave me good company, and I enjoyed being with her. But later, I started to develop issues.
Once, I asked her:
Me: Initially, I fell in love with you. I loved going to places alone without any disturbance. I enjoyed having no one to distract my focus or interrupt my thoughts. I enjoyed eating alone, talking to myself, sipping wine at night while looking at the moon. I enjoyed listening to songs, roaming around everywhere, and sometimes simply scrolling through my phone. But now, I have started to hate you deeply.
Loneliness: Lately, even I have started to find you boring. You hardly talk; you simply stare at the sky. In fact, I wanted to tell you something: any face you look at for too long, you begin to dislike. You need a break from me too. Go out and see the world. And if you still wish to, come back, I will be here.
Me: But I don’t understand. What do I do after leaving you? I have very few options, and I am afraid to choose any of them.
Loneliness: So, you are afraid to leave me and build something else? That’s a contradiction. Sometimes, what you love the most becomes what you hate the most. In fact, the person you love deeply can one day become your greatest enemy.
Me: What am I supposed to do to get rid of you?
Loneliness: That’s crazy. You’re asking me how to get rid of me? Do one thing, go watch a movie or spend time in a crowd so that you can forget me.
Me: That is not a permanent solution. Even in a crowd, I will be lonely again.
Loneliness: Then open an Instagram account. Make friends, chat, or do whatever you want.
Me: Don’t judge me, please. That may offer a temporary solution, but it will create even more loneliness. There is no reality in it. It’s artificial because they are not real friends. If I am there, they are there. If I am not, no one cares.
Loneliness: Hey, mister, that’s the reality of life. Nothing is permanent. To prove that, Larry Page and Sergey Brin created Google. Its message is simple: understand life as it is and realise that nothing lasts forever. Everything is maya.
Me: So, what if I get married? Then I won’t be alone. She will take care of me.
Loneliness: Hahaha.
Me: Why are you laughing? Did I say something funny?
Loneliness: No, no. I was just thinking. In fact, loneliness is a mindset. If I am there, I am there. If you think I am not, then I am not. Simple.
Me: So, are you suggesting that I get a companion by marrying someone?
Loneliness: Let me ask you a question.
Me: Please, go ahead.
Loneliness: Imagine you love chicken biryani, and you order a full plate. Would you order the same biryani again on the same day?
Me: I can’t even think of eating biryani twice in a week.
Loneliness: If you marry just to get rid of me, it’s like ordering the same biryani again. You will lose interest because the flavours remain the same. So, this is not a solution. You can keep biryani away, but not your wife. That’s a commitment for life. And what’s more, your real loneliness may begin from that day.
Me: You mean I have to live with you for life? Better join hands with Elon Musk. At least I can make money by selling you.
Loneliness: Not a bad idea. You can think about it.
Me: Leave the jokes aside. Give me an idea about how to get rid of you.
Loneliness: Completely getting rid of me is impossible. At some point in life, you will meet me again. It’s better to take breaks and mix things up. Make friends, gossip, find companionship, have fun, travel, and if needed, seek therapy.
Me: Taking breaks from you seems possible, but the rest isn’t easy. No one has time for others anymore; everyone is busy with their phones. And therapists themselves experience loneliness, so how can they solve my problem?
Loneliness: Dear friend, then I can’t do anything for you. You just have to live with me.
Then loneliness looked at me and said:
“My dear friend, there is nothing more I can do for you. Your species is slowly heading toward its own end because the real villain is already in your hands.
That tiny device you love so much, your mobile phone, will consume you completely and mercilessly. You cherish it, protect it, and carry it everywhere, unaware of what it quietly steals from you.
In this story, I am not the villain. My role is simply to enter the empty spaces left behind by broken relationships, distracted minds, and forgotten conversations, and fill them.”