Recently, I was talking with my friend. He was exhausted and in bad shape, and he expressed his helplessness about continuing the marriage. At the same time, he loves her a lot, and he loves his kid as well.
He asked me why marriage becomes so horrible.
I replied: “There are many reasons behind it. First of all, marriage is incorrect for humans. In fact, no other animal on earth gets married to produce a child. Only we do it. Basically, it is to protect wealth. When the government becomes part of personal affairs, like producing a child and having sex, we need to obtain a licence from them. Then it will look nice from the outside. That is marriage.
“When the government pretends to care about its people, it is well aware that when one side has a problem or complaint, and the other side is criminal or offensive in nature, this is how the system works. It is made like that to get more control over us. But do not ask any logic behind it. It is a matter of the system’s sustainability. If there is no crime, how does the system work? So, the crime is clarified well by them.”
“But how does it become legal?” he continued. “As social animals, is it not our right to engage in sex with someone who likes us, with proper consent?
“Sex is a biological need of all animals, including humans, is it not? Needing a licence to fulfil that need is cruel, right?”
“Yeah, of course. Stopping a biological need is very cruel. To bring every human moment under the system so that rulers and slaves will exist until the end of the human era. Just imagine if the family system did not exist, and we lived like we did a few generations back. How would rulers and governments exist without family? Where does this so called morality come from?
“When I say this, the guardians of morality will not keep quiet. For them, family equals bonding. But in reality, we must check where that bonding happens.
“See, all animals live without marriage, but they live socially. Look at elephants. We control their right to mate by locking them in a cage. Otherwise, in the forest, they have a better system than us, like one lady elephant controlling their system.”
“You mean to say if I am not married, I do not get anyone to have sex with?”
“Hahahaha.”
I suddenly laughed, then took a breath.
“No, no, definitely you will. In fact, today, if you do not get married, it is easy to get into a physical relationship with multiple options. It is tough for those who have a licence but still cannot fulfil their needs, as many people have mental trauma. Simple. For an unmarried man, it will be easy to get sex in today’s scenario, but for a man with a licence, it will be a tough task.
“Marriage is between two unknown people, and there is a possibility of getting detached very soon or having no mental connection. They need to live their entire life with a strange person. It is so pathetic, as they may be indifferent in many ways, right?”
I said, “Yes, it is possible that it will not work as we expected. Without seeing their individual tastes or choices, they get married and later realise the fact, but by then, nothing is possible.
“Apart from that, in this technological era, people do not understand each other. So, the possibility of this system collapsing is high. In fact, this system has already collapsed, but the government and society do not want it to collapse. Hence, they come forward to protect it.
“According to me, marriage is an expectation, fantasy, or myth, and divorce is reality. The bitter truth.”
He replied, “Oh, to get a divorce, so many formalities are involved. The system will convince you, the system will manipulate you, the system will force you. Still, divorce is a big challenge. Getting married is an easy task, but separation is tough. Strange.”
I laughed again, then replied.
“Yeah. Two strangers suddenly getting into a bedroom by holding a licence to fulfil physical needs. I have to be careful when talking about love, as two strangers cannot fall in love all of a sudden with a licence. But they pretend lust is love, since the system has approved it.”
“The reel is killing them,” he said silently.
“Whether you like it or not, you must go ahead. Your choice has no value from that moment. The thickest chain any human has ever found.”
He kept quiet for some time, then said, “Is this really the reason behind our fight?”
I replied, “Maybe not exactly. Technology is the real villain behind the failure of a marriage today.
“In fact, social media is found against women, as it is easy to trap girls. The girls believe Instagram is made for them, but the reality is that Instagram is the real enemy of them. If someone is addicted to something, that means their enemy has found a way to trap them tightly. We are helpless in this situation.”
I smiled.
Then I said, “If we go back a little, we can find out the truth. That was connected to the entry of Britain and other countries who treated us as slaves.
“When they did not get complete control over us, they changed the strategy. They slowly interfered in our personal lives. For example, they gave us modern education. The poison was hidden in the chocolate.
“Through education, they started influencing us, especially with this Christian Sabha concept. For a man, there should be only one woman. Even those who were not converted to Christianity began to believe it.
“But it was not the truth. They simply forced us to follow it, and we still silently believe it. Then the marriage law came too, after getting freedom from them, in 1952. By then, we had become their slaves, and still, we are their slaves in a different way. They can influence us.”
He asked, “Why do we not live freely?”
I said calmly, “We meet so many people every day, but after getting to know them, we gradually let them go, and this is called the mental cleaning process.
“Some become baggage, some become toxic, and a few start off cool but later turn toxic. After this process, we keep one out of every hundred with us.
“So, in friendships, we avoid people later, since those people are not contributing anything better to us and instead treat us badly. But unfortunately, in marriage, it is not possible.
“Even though the relationship is so toxic, we must obtain permission from the system to end it, but that permission was not necessary when both got married.
“This applies to any relationship, including father and son, mother and daughter, and siblings. We can cut off any relationship easily in all these relationships.
“But when it comes to marriage, this is not possible. Why?
“We cannot drop them off, and we cannot make up our minds. As social animals, humans should be free from this. But unfortunately, when two people get married, their lives become hectic, unwanted control creeps in, and the freedom they enjoyed the day before suddenly gets a full stop or a comma.”
He was sad, and I offered him some tea and water. Then I told him to rest for some time so that we could continue the discussion.